I looked at your nice CDR chapter.  I have a few suggestions, for you to consider or to ignore.

In general: always use Figure or Fig. in the text, not a mixture

2.5.1  point 2: Remove any particles leaving the linac at large amplitudes (beam halo) to minimize....
           
           last $:    Functions 2. and 3. are accomplished by the collimators until the machine protection system takes over (i.e. for a full bunch train).
              and    , THEREBY driving the length of the system. The BDS must provide the appropriate lattice, as well as sufficient instrumentation, .....
              and    can be found IN [1].
2.5.2   are shown for the nominal PARAMETER set at 3 TeV.

2.5.3  The main subSECTIONS of the beam delivery SYSTEM ... are
            In Table 1 L* is 3.5 or 4.34 or 6 m
           provides space for separateD SPENT BEAM lines 
           horizontally -> in the horizontal plane
          in a common IR cavern complex (IR cavern plus two garage caverns)

2.5.3.1 The optics and the layout of the diagnostics SYSTEM ARE shown in FIGURE 2.
             P2, last $:  The energy measurement section has been DESIGNED TO MINIMIZE space..
                                  high PRECISION BPM pairs .... provides a VERY COMPACT energy measurement.
                                 and the BPM resolution MUST BE 100 nm or better.
           P3: a polarization measurement station IN the energy collimation section
                Polarization IP laser (Figure 2) or Polarization laser IP (text)?
                I do not understand the sentence that the pol.laser location 'is parallel to'. Do you want to say that Thomas precession cancels between
                there and the IP? Then maybe just spell this out.... Maybe explain in one sentence the principle of the polarization measurement (e.g. that
             you need to measure the energy spectrum)

2.5.3.2   During the ...linac, the presence of beam is not desired...
                allows to guide...

2.5.3.3   (1) It protects.... and (2) it removes the beam halo. The first function is mostly performed ny the energy collimation, the second rather by the
               transverse betatron collimators.
               ......  in the 20 lm linac, resulting in a lower beam energy.
                ABSORPTION (misspelled)
               Explain briefly what a collimator absorber is and does... (absorbing the debris from the collimators?)

P.4      by detailed tracking using PLACET [5] with HTGEN [6]       and invert the reference in the list at the end
            Under FAVOURABLE or REASONABLE beam and vacuum conditions, where a fraction of ~10-5 of the beam hits the colimators, .....
            ...LOCATED about 100 m upstream of the spoilers.

P5.     coule then be done later AND/OR in stages, as required by

2.5.3.5    Half of the total chromaticity of the final focus   (erase WHOLE)
                ....cancel THESE third-order aberrations
               Use either FF or FFS, but do not mix the two....(there are already too many abbreviations in this section!!!) 
              ....and another 10% ORIGINATES FROM the FD quadrupoles

2.5.3.6    which IS ZERO at the centre of the bunch.
               Figure 4 looks nice but does not tell me much....

2.5.3.7   Is QD0 the first or the last quadrupole of the FD?
               Only the cases with L* = 3.5 and 4.4 m meet the CLIC REQUIREMENTS (or SPECIFICATIONS)
               same two and three lines below

2.5.4     large enough to CONTAIN the beam
              in terms of resistive wall EFFECTS.
              The results are shown in FIGURE 5 (not TABLE 5). Maybe it is more natural to invert Figures 5 and 6 (as Fig 6
              is referred to first

2.5.5.1  3rd line PRECISION
              Superconducting dipoles have the advantage to naturally shield...
  
2.5.5.2  Where are those laser wires

2.5.5.3    In view of the importance of the crab cavities, I would have hoped for a slightly more detailed explanation?????

2.5.5.4   You still have to fill he reference
             3rd $: REMAIN to be determined
             ANTE-chambers or ANTI-chambers? (this is my ignorance...)

2.5.5.5   In the last paragraphs you might refer to the relevant MDI sections in Chapter 5?